Enneagram Compatibility: What a Chart Can't Show

What an Enneagram compatibility chart is

An Enneagram compatibility chart is a grid with the nine types down the side and the nine types across the top. Each square holds a rating or a short description of how that pair of types is said to get along.

Counting same-type pairs, the grid has 45 different pairings. A Type 1 and a Type 6 get one square, and every Type 1 and Type 6 pair in the world is meant to fit the description in that square.

Why a chart cannot say how two people get along

Type-pair compatibility is one of the most widely published Enneagram claims and one of the least supported. A chart has three problems that come from how the Enneagram result works.

• A type is only the top of a list. An Enneagram result ranks all nine patterns within one person, and the type is the pattern that came out first. A chart throws away the other eight.
• Some types are close calls. When a person's first and second patterns score almost the same, a few answers could have flipped the type. A chart treats a close call the same as a clear result.
• A chart rates the pair, not the people. Two couples with the same two types can argue about completely different things, because the rest of their lists are different.

Two people with the same type can be very different

Take two coworkers who both come out as Type 3, the Striver. For the first coworker, the second pattern on the list is Type 2, the Sustainer. For the second coworker, the second pattern is Type 5, the Sensemaker.

Both coworkers care about getting results. The first coworker tends to get there by noticing what each person on the team needs before anyone asks. The second coworker tends to get there by going quiet, working through the problem alone, and showing up with an answer. A chart would give both coworkers the same square.

What comparing two full results shows

A paired Enneagram report puts both people's full lists side by side, all nine patterns, and looks at where the two lists agree and differ.

• Patterns near the top for both people. These are patterns both people lean on, so the two of them rarely have to explain those habits to each other.
• Patterns near the bottom for both people. Neither person reaches for these patterns much, so neither person is likely to notice when a situation calls for one.
• Patterns that lead for one person and sit low for the other. The widest differences between two lists tend to show up as the same disagreement, over and over.
• How the two types sit on the circle: the same type, neighbors, or one person's type is the other person's wing, meaning the stronger of the two patterns next to their type.

What a pattern difference looks like

Picture two siblings planning a parent's birthday dinner. For one sibling, the Harmonizer pattern (Type 9) sits near the top of the list. For the other sibling, the same pattern sits near the bottom, and the Protector pattern (Type 8) leads.

When their mother wants a restaurant their father dislikes, the first sibling looks for a choice that keeps everyone calm. The second sibling says out loud that the father's wishes count too. Neither sibling is handling the dinner the correct way. Each one is covering something the other would skip.

Naming the difference changes the conversation. Once both siblings see the two patterns on the page, the question shifts from who is being difficult to which of the two things matters more for this dinner.

What an Enneagram comparison does not tell two people

A comparison describes how two people answered the same questions. The comparison stays inside what the questions measured.

• The comparison does not say whether two types are compatible, and does not rank any pairing above another.
• The comparison does not say how either person changes under stress or during growth. Many Enneagram diagrams draw arrows between types for this, and the questions do not measure that movement.
• The comparison does not sort either person into levels within a type, and does not say that one person is further along.
• The comparison does not turn two lists into a score. A pattern ninth on one list and second on the other shows where that pattern sits in each person's own order, not how much of it either person has.

How to get an Enneagram paired report

Taking the Enneagram at selfwyse is free, and nobody needs an account to start. At the end, the results page has a link to send to one other person.

The second person takes the Enneagram for free and keeps their own result. Once both people have finished, both get a free paired report that compares the two full lists. A more detailed paired report is available as a paid upgrade.

Common questions

Which Enneagram types are most compatible?

No pair of types has been shown to get along better than another. Two people of any types can compare their full results and see where their patterns agree and where they differ.

What does it mean when two people share an Enneagram type?

Two people who share a type have the same pattern at the top of their lists. The rest of the two lists can still be very different, so a shared type is a starting point for comparison, not the whole answer.

Do wings matter when comparing two people?

A paired report notes when one person's type is the other person's wing. That means the pattern leading one person's list is also the stronger neighbor of the other person's type on the circle.